Practicing The Pause: addressing tensions in widening the Window of Tolerance

The window of tolerance is the zone in which the various intensities of emotional arousal…can be processed without disrupting the functioning of the system, where thoughts, emotions and behaviours remain balanced and effective.

It is importance to widen the window of tolerance as part of the work of healing trauma. This recognises the significance of being able to effectively process and integrate our day to day experiences, and cope with greater extremes of arousal, rather than being high-jacked by the intense responses of the limbic system. Learning the skills required to do this takes patience and practice, as well as an acknowledgment of the tensions that inevitably arise. 

Widening our window of tolerance requires us to find that that seemingly magic space between triggers and our automatic reactions, in order to:

• become aware of heightened or dampened physiological cues that indicate we are on the verge of becoming dysregulated, threatening to disorganise the functioning of the system;
• become aware of the engrained mental representations that sustain the activation of the dysregulated state; and
• build an ability to tolerate distress and work against the instinct of defending against discomfort through avoidance

Finding the magic space, where discomfort is present but not all-consuming, allows us to sit with uncomfortable sensations such as tension or anger before they become panic, terror or rage. This pause – or pushing against the boundary of our optimum state of arousal – allows us to reflect on and understand our inner experience, which in turn eventually creates more space to actively choose a response that more accurately matches the reality of the present moment rather than reacting to it from a place of perceived unsafety (arising from what has happened in the past or feared in the future). The process takes time and must be carefully measured and paced, as being present with activated feelings and emotions can be incredibly daunting.